Merrrwood’s Cow Explanation  

Dani and I are coming up with our own “2 cows” posts pertinent to our university.

Architecture: You have 2 cows. You must use their corpses to create different types of space, using only an exacto-knife and Sobo.

Marywood U: You have 2 cows. Just kidding, they’re actually squirrels.

Chartwells: You have 2 cows and neither of them are real meat.

The LAC: You have 2 cows. They both die from heat stroke.

Regina Hall: You have 2 cows, but still no one wants to live there. 

Madonna Hall: You have 2 cows and everyone wants to be them.

Commuters: You have 2 cows but no parking spot.

Library: You have 2 cows that can’t find the exit to the circle.

Freshman Parking: You have 2 cows, but they’re all the way in East Bumblefuck.

LAX Bros: You have 2 cows but you still have to get up at 5 am with the rest of the herd for practice.

Post Office: You have 2 cows but they can’t get out because the door won’t open.

Dean Hunt: You have 2 cows and you let them do your grading for you.

Professor Eckler: You have 2 cows, and you make sure everyone knows how great they are.

Late Night: You have 2 cows and they’ve been sitting under a lamp for 5 hours.

Mellow Center (gym): You have 2 cows and they’re both sweating like pigs.

RAs: You have 2 cows, along with the rest of the residents.

Chapel: You have 2 cows, and that’s the extent of your congregation.

International Club: You have 2 cows, and they were both made in China.

Taylor Ave: You have 2 cows, and a drinking problem.

Nutrition Majors: You have 2 cows and refuse to eat them.

Freshman: You have 2 cows and you care more abut them than people care about you.

Sophomores: You have 2 cows and you’re starting to not give a shit.

Juniors: You have 2 cows and you’re too busy to feed them.

Seniors: You have 2 cows and no fucks are given.

Graduates: You had 2 cows but you had to sell them to pay ff your student loans.



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